It's a Randy Newman Thing

A couple of weeks ago, a shroud of disillusionment having settled on the evening one Sunday night, my best friend called suddenly and invited me to a movie. It’s the same sort of thing that’s happened a hundred times before, but I came to realize what a sobering effect it tends to have on me. And on the way home afterward, thoroughly recovered from what I had been feeling earlier, I began to reflect on exactly what had occurred the two or three previous hours. A guy’s best pal is a cache of leaning, a kind of muted trust. The connection often acts like subtext—unspoken but totally understood, totally true. I’m not talking about machismo or golden parachutes, secret handshakes or scandalous secrets. No, I mean true friendship, which doesn’t vanish or seem disquieted by delicate matters or moments of vulnerability. My best friend has stuck by me no matter how I might act or sound. He’s let me pour out my deepest concerns and still paid truth for truth, offering frank but compassionate feedback mingled with a tasteful hint of flippant irony, a curious brand of counsel that might seem like teasing one minute and resonant wisdom the next. Does it reject candid trust or moments of cathartic grief? Not at all. I’m talking about something so deep that nothing need be said much of the time. But when something is said, it is received,

Painting the Carcass

A good friend and colleague of mine once referred to plastic surgery and other age-defying measures as “decorating the carcass,” which she has made perfectly clear to her husband she will never do. And while I certainly want to keep myself attractive to my future spouse if I can, I have to agree with her stance, since the sacrifice of money and risk for these cosmetic endeavors does seem a bit drastic, and catering to the superficial preoccupation with beauty and appearance can definitely draw us away from the improvement of the spirit and the mind. Admittedly, most of us do spend a good deal of time maintaining our appearance, which has the effect of projecting a certain attitude and, in some cases, a particular worldview. Façade or no, the manner in which we present ourselves does, at least in part, define our character and personality, not only to others, but to ourselves. Hairstyles, jewelry, make-up, and even clothing are some of the most obvious examples. And in recent years, tattooing has become a more popular facet of this cultural disposition.

Body art among performance artists and more eccentric types is nothing new, and tattooing in particular is an extremely old