I should begin by sharing that my future
bride and I are avid Tolkienites. Though
I'm ascribed the honor of resident Star Wars nerd where I teach by virtue of
the many Lego Star Wars vessels hanging from my classroom ceiling and advisorship
of the Sci-Fi Club, The Lord of the Rings is without question my sci-fi/fantasy
franchise of choice. So when it came
time to propose, I knew from the outset it ought to be very us.
And frankly, few things are more Laura and me than a shared penchant for
British period drama, which we agree finds a kind of high-water mark in Tolkien's
saga of wise, immortal Elves; stout-hearted Dwarves; brave Hobbits; sinister
Orcs; and us, humankind, a last hope for the becoming world in a long-past,
mythical epoch of transition known as Middle-Earth, of which the central
conflict, of course, hinges upon the Ring of Power, the One Ring forged by the
Dark Lord Sauron in a bygone age, with the power to ruthlessly dominate all
life.
Now, I honestly can't recall a longstanding
notion of how I wished to propose to my future wife, but I chose to ask Laura
to marry me December 13, 2013, the very night we attended an
opening-day performance of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug alongside a dozen or more members of the Oaks Christian High School Sci-Fi Club. One glorious effect of having chosen an occasion already laced with excitement was that she never saw it coming, didn't have a clue, until the moment the ring emerged, which I'll always consider a personal triumph. Now, to the purist who may criticize any true parallel between the significance of my proposal and the bearing of the Ring by Bilbo and his nephew Frodo, I should declare that no such parallel was ever intended. Tolkien himself professed a blanket aversion to allegory, and it was not the conflict itself I chose to spoof, but merely the symptoms. For Frodo in particular, bearing the Ring from Rivendell to Mordor becomes increasingly burdensome, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I parodied the physically.
opening-day performance of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug alongside a dozen or more members of the Oaks Christian High School Sci-Fi Club. One glorious effect of having chosen an occasion already laced with excitement was that she never saw it coming, didn't have a clue, until the moment the ring emerged, which I'll always consider a personal triumph. Now, to the purist who may criticize any true parallel between the significance of my proposal and the bearing of the Ring by Bilbo and his nephew Frodo, I should declare that no such parallel was ever intended. Tolkien himself professed a blanket aversion to allegory, and it was not the conflict itself I chose to spoof, but merely the symptoms. For Frodo in particular, bearing the Ring from Rivendell to Mordor becomes increasingly burdensome, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I parodied the physically.
Once finished feasting with the kids at
Red Robin, near the Muvico theater where the film was shortly to begin, I begged
a moment to admire the giant Christmas tree centered in the roundabout that
curls past the front of the movie house.
Laura patiently assented, and a few moments into admiring the yuletide sparkle
fest, I began to feign chest pains, a rather too believable cry of wolf that
sent her into such a spasm of concern, she nearly dialed 911 on her cell. At that point, I uttered, with a goodly pinch
of melodramatic panache, "I see the great eye, in a ring of
fire!" To be fair, this was not a
direct quote from The Return of the King,
in which Frodo's actual line is, "I'm naked in the dark, with
nothing. No veil between me and the ring
of fire!" Still, she got the joke,
and was immediately relieved, amused, and stern all at once. I stood up and confessed how I felt such a
prank was only too apropos just minutes before the next installment of The Hobbit. I had even worn my One Ring replica (which
she knew I owned) specifically for the jest.
And no sooner had I drawn the ball chain out of my shirt and over my
head than I held up the ring it bore and said, with facetious perplexity,
"Whoa... That's not the Ring of Power."
And expecting to see a small gold replica of Frodo's bane, there was
instead an orb of white gold with a three-quarter-karat center stone and two
oval diamonds on either side. I'll never
forget the victory of seeing her face morph instantly from nonchalant
bemusement to abject incredulity, arresting and joyful. Every objection to the prank crumbled, and
she was swept away with adoration, a fine result, I should say, if such
trickery should have gone a little too far.
And after removing the ring from the ball chain and with still more
pithy artifice, I took the replica from my pocket. "This
is the Ring of Power!" I said, smiling.
"This is it right here."
Now drawing puppy-like devotion from her
eyes and in the presence of Oaks students Kayla Gorman, Josh Becker, and Jak
Darby, all aiming cell phone cameras our direction, I spoke these words to my
dearest girl:
"I
love you so much. You're my best friend
and the finest woman I've ever known.
Sometimes I can hardly comprehend how much I love you. Every thought of you is like coming
home. I think of you, and my heart is
full. And I want to spend the rest of my
life sharing that love, and building a life together." Kneeling down then with the ring in my hand,
I said quite simply, "Laura Marie Gordon, will you be my wife and have me
as your husband? Will you marry
me?"
She said yes, of course, and it turned out
we needed a second viewing of The Hobbit:
The Desolation of Smaug some days later to catch the film's gamut of detail
and drama, unhindered by the fresh and effervescent joy of being
newly-engaged. One or the other of us
may have, in fact, uttered some astonishment that second time around at the
presence of a dragon in the final act of the film. Either way, while not overtly romantic or
applause-worthy as a banner trailing a Cessna or scrawled across a stadium
Jumbotron, it was worth the glorious intersection of our Tolkienphilia and my pending
ask for what I think can only be dubbed, and in which I take no small degree of
pride, an unexpected proposal.
More unexpected still... The realization of the step we're about to
take has challenged me spiritually, in the best sense of that. As far as I can tell, you know you're
marrying the right person when you not only crave their companionship, but
likewise envision all too earnestly the ways in which you will, on a daily
basis, challenge and support each other in growth and purpose. I didn't always know I would find such a
person, and in truth, there are so many ways in which Laura is dramatically
different from the sort of girl I thought to one day call my wife. What most amazes me at times is how much
better I am known by my God than by my own self. And the more faithfully I seek the Lord, the gospel
himself, which is Christ, the more deeply I find myself loving and delighting in my future
bride. This was something I did not
expect, though such a dimension will, I hope, characterize not only our courtship,
but likewise our marriage and life together.
Many a long-married couple, I suppose, might
corroborate this. In so many ways, you
cannot plan for what's to come. But you
can aim well. And walking by faith means
remaining in the Almighty, even when you can't see the way forward. It means praising His name and bearing with
one another in love and peace, withstanding the squalls of trouble and testing that inevitably come and by which moments of weakness, grief, and difficulty His
glory is marvelously revealed. For me
and my future bride, I pray just this much may be ours, that is, precisely what
God would grant us, being the courage to forbear in the face of every hardship
and the joy to celebrate, in fealty and affection, His many mercies and endless
provision of love, a fruit that ever satisfies—glorious, true, and in so many
ways... unexpected.
2 comments:
That's...beautiful!
Thanks so much, Sammy! It was a pretty beautiful moment, I have to say :)
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